Mamporrera ([info]serai1) wrote in [info]ontd_startrek,
2009-06-07 14:26:00
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  • Mood: where's my bong

Scotty's actually a HORRIBLE man!

Thinking about the new Star Trek film, something just occurred to me...

From the first time I spotted the tribble, it's bugged me. Not that I have anything against tribbles; I love the little fuckers. It was the placement of the creature. When I saw it, I wondered how a fan as supposedly steeped in lore as the makers of this film could possibly have made such a mistake.

Here's what I mean - it's impossible. Scotty has the furball in a pretty little suspended cage on his desk, where it coos away. But the problem with tribbles is you can't have only one. Within a few hours, you either have lots of tribbles...or a dead tribble, since the only way to prevent their reproduction is to starve them to death. They simply can't stop breeding.

But jeez, everybody knows that! It was the point to The Trouble with Tribbles, after all. So just what the hell is going on there? How is it that Scotty has just one tribble, and can keep it in a small cage? Where are the other tribbles going?

And yesterday, when I saw the film again, I got a jolt of horror when I realized the answer - HE'S EATING THEM.

Think about it! Scotty is going mad because there's nothing to eat but those "dried protein nibs". Likely he's been feeling the effects of malnutrition, and would jump at anything that could vary his diet. How the hell he got hold of a tribble, I don't know. Maybe someone left it behind, maybe it crawled in to get warm. But it's alive, and that makes it a food source. Of course, with all that hair, there's probably precious little meat inside, but it would provide at least some nutritive value.

So Scotty's not the sweetheart we think!! I know it's gruesome, but really, how else can we explain the central problem - that it's impossible to have just one tribble?
Tags: simon pegg/scotty

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[info]tpringles

June 7 2009, 22:43:59 UTC 2 years ago

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE!!!

... D:

[info]cambridged

June 8 2009, 02:19:46 UTC 2 years ago

WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

(also this is so *logical* I gasped in horror)

[info]missinfinity

June 7 2009, 22:44:21 UTC 2 years ago

OMG.

First, amazing theory.

Secondly, FAIL on the makers. Ugh.

[info]jncar

June 7 2009, 22:46:56 UTC 2 years ago

I don't know why, but this post made me LOL more than anything else I've seen in this comm, and that's saying a lot.

Soylant green is TRIBBLES!

[info]passthepeaches

June 7 2009, 22:56:16 UTC 2 years ago

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[info]fisting_pigs

2 years ago

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[info]chemikalien

2 years ago

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[info]mneiai

June 7 2009, 22:50:06 UTC 2 years ago

OMFG. It's so wrong it seems brilliantly right.

[info]zhyvae

June 7 2009, 22:52:17 UTC 2 years ago

AAAAAAAAHH
quick, someone come up with another sensible explanation, I refuse to believe that!!

[info]i_said_boourns

June 7 2009, 22:57:11 UTC 2 years ago

His sidekick! Eating them on the sly, so that all Scotty saw was him eating "like a bean". But really, he was eating the tribbles

[info]tpringles

2 years ago

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[info]hjalmartazar

2 years ago

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[info]tokyoghoststory

2 years ago

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[info]cheshirepuss

2 years ago

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[info]tokyoghoststory

2 years ago

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[info]uluviel

2 years ago

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[info]hjalmartazar

June 7 2009, 22:52:37 UTC 2 years ago

oh my god this post ... i'm dying
poor scotty... idk can u blame him? runnin out of food, lots of little creatures around to cook...

[info]bourbonnapoleon

June 7 2009, 23:02:34 UTC 2 years ago

If I were him, I'd nibble on a tribble. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

[info]sequined_bones

2 years ago

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[info]hjalmartazar

2 years ago

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[info]revengent

2 years ago

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[info]bourbonnapoleon

2 years ago

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[info]revengent

2 years ago

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[info]bourbonnapoleon

2 years ago

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[info]revengent

2 years ago

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[info]opalexian

2 years ago

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[info]i_said_boourns

June 7 2009, 22:55:37 UTC 2 years ago

This is the best post ever.

[info]afrocurl

June 8 2009, 00:53:15 UTC 2 years ago

Why did no one warn me about the tribble? I have yet to see it in the other three times.

[info]aiko_yamada

June 7 2009, 22:57:20 UTC 2 years ago

LOL, best theory I've heard so far. I knew there was something 'special' about Scotty! ROFL

[info]iweep4u

June 7 2009, 22:58:24 UTC 2 years ago

Did they ever actually say that tribbles would die if you didn't feed them? I mean, at least in the original tribble episode the only time they even mentioned dead tribbles was when they'd eaten the poisoned grain.

And really, if you're trapped somewhere with almost nothing to eat, I would think having a tribble or two with you would be a pretty good survival strategy. I mean, tribble reproductive strategy is pretty much designed with the assumption that most of them are going to be eaten. If you think about it, Scotty would just be stepping into the role of whatever their natural predators would have been on their home planet.

tl;dr version: Think of the tribbleburgers as population control ;)

On the other hand, do we even know if tribbles are edible for humans?

[info]arxev

June 7 2009, 23:20:33 UTC 2 years ago

I feel like once you got rid of the fur, there wouldn't be a whole lot of meat left...

[info]iweep4u

2 years ago

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[info]revengent

2 years ago

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[info]infra_dig

June 7 2009, 22:58:30 UTC 2 years ago

Do they continue to multiply in his stomach?

[info]iweep4u

June 7 2009, 23:02:39 UTC 2 years ago

Ewwww, I hope not, he'd be coughing up furballs for the rest of his life D:

[info]tristesses

June 7 2009, 22:58:30 UTC 2 years ago

HEY IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE, DON'T BLAME SCOTTY, DUDE'S HUNGRY

[info]eralkfang

June 7 2009, 23:30:50 UTC 2 years ago

I'm now seeing Pegg!Scotty hastily explaining why he is nibbling on a tribble with the first few lines of "Circle of Life" (a la The Doctor).

[info]redhobbit

June 7 2009, 22:59:20 UTC 2 years ago

Maybe he's found a way to keep his one Tribble from breeding, kept it at a cool temp, didn't feed it and threatened it occasionally with a Halloween Klingon mask?

[info]passthepeaches

June 7 2009, 23:00:27 UTC 2 years ago

THIS IS BLASPHEMY, THIS IS MADNESS!

[info]sequined_bones

June 7 2009, 23:12:08 UTC 2 years ago

THIS IS SPARTA!

[info]passthepeaches

2 years ago

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[info]sequined_bones

2 years ago

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[info]koboot

2 years ago

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[info]turtle_goose

2 years ago

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[info]alexandria_skye

June 7 2009, 23:01:31 UTC 2 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA i totally wondered why he had just one tribble--i mean, really? i ended up chalking it up to the climate--maybe it's too cold, so tribbles won't end up reproducing? this post is amazing.

[info]laminy

June 7 2009, 23:02:55 UTC 2 years ago

I have seen this freakin' movie freakin' three times and I still have yet to see a freakin' tribble. I will admit it, I am obviously beyond lame and a horrible fan. Maybe if I had just gone for that fourth time. There is still time.

[info]feanna

June 7 2009, 23:15:24 UTC 2 years ago

You have to watch some scenes with tribbles in them. Once you know what they sound like it becomes obvious in the movie as you can hear it purring before it comes on screen. I did miss it too though the fist time I watched knowing it was there.

[info]laminy

2 years ago

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[info]evewithanapple

2 years ago

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[info]laminy

2 years ago

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[info]arxev

2 years ago

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[info]chocolatcocaine

2 years ago

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[info]laminy

2 years ago

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[info]chocolatcocaine

2 years ago

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[info]latenightcuppa

June 7 2009, 23:08:20 UTC 2 years ago

I think this is my favorite post. Like, ever.

[info]illogical_me

June 7 2009, 23:12:00 UTC 2 years ago

THIS NEEDS FIC.

[info]sequined_bones

June 7 2009, 23:12:40 UTC 2 years ago

OH MY GOD YES OH MY GOD YOUR BEST IDEA YET

[info]illogical_me

2 years ago

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[info]serai1

2 years ago

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[info]illogical_me

2 years ago

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[info]fyere

June 7 2009, 23:12:18 UTC 2 years ago

LOLOL NOOO SCOTTY. I refuse to believe this is true!! His tribble is just fixed! SCOTTY WATCHED A LOT OF 'THE PRICE IS RIGHT' AS A CHILD ok.

"Help control the tribble population. Have your tribbles spayed or neutered."

[info]chuckney

June 8 2009, 00:07:58 UTC 2 years ago

Love this XD

Also our icons are siblings. :D

[info]electra_torch

June 7 2009, 23:12:19 UTC 2 years ago

I bet he eats them like Popplers.

[info]flawed_karma

June 7 2009, 23:27:23 UTC 2 years ago

OMG I just snorched diet coke through my nose.

[info]houseclouds

2 years ago

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...and 2 more comments... from [info]firestormroses, [info]inomoo Expand

[info]feanna

June 7 2009, 23:13:22 UTC 2 years ago

He's totally eating them!!! lol

But no, in canon they only breed if you feed them too much. Too much is still very little, but if you feed them really really little they don't breed.

[info]topazera

June 8 2009, 00:09:58 UTC 2 years ago

"You know there's some things I forgot to tell you guys... and they're really important."

Right? There are stringent rules for the care of Tribbles! :D

[info]cindyg

2 years ago

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[info]katiemariie

June 7 2009, 23:13:26 UTC 2 years ago

It's quite possible he was eating them but it might have been a reference to how little food they had. They had so little to eat that they only had one tribble. Also, in TNG several of the kids have just one tribble as a pet and the Enterprise wasn't over run with the furry things. In the animated series, McCoy just gives tribbles a shot that slows down their metabolic rate making them unable to reproduce. Perhaps the cure to tribble overpopulation was figured out earlier in the alternative universe.

[info]dimwit90

June 7 2009, 23:13:27 UTC 2 years ago

I had been wondering about this but only a genius could have come up with this shit lol

[info]bourbonnapoleon

June 7 2009, 23:16:52 UTC 2 years ago

I bet they taste delicious...

[info]arxev

June 7 2009, 23:19:15 UTC 2 years ago

No, it's cool, it's cool! I literally just got done watching this episode, and Bones never says the tribbles can starve to death -- he just says to stop feeding them so they'll stop breeding. They only end up dying because they eat the poisoned grain in the space station. So in theory they can't actually starve, they just can't keep reproducing.

[info]hjalmartazar

June 7 2009, 23:20:47 UTC 2 years ago

poor scotty :(
he's not a bad man!!!!

[info]turtle_goose

June 8 2009, 01:52:28 UTC 2 years ago

This GIF proves that he's not a bad man. Completely.
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