riicchan (riicchan) wrote in ontd_startrek,
  • Mood: hungry

Fancy-Ass Foods

So I have this odd habit. I like to imagine what sorts of food people would be, if they were food. It's like trying to imagine what kind of dog or animal or something that a person would be. Only way more delicious.

Eventually, this brought me to Star Trek, which brings me to you lovely, lovely GQMF's.

And images like these were made.

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We start, of course, with Kirk. And saying it right now, Captain Fine and The Shat have very different flavors. Everyone does.

Old Kirk has the cheesiest flavor of cheese in existence: Classic American Cheese. He's laughing because it says "Singles" on the package. Kirk's always up front about what he wants, and so is his cheese.

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New Kirk has a bit of a sharper flavor to him, so he's something like a cheddar. Note the apple in the background. Hard cheeses go great with fruit.

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Old Spock has a rather dry sort of feel to him, hence, parsnips. Also, try to imagine Leonard Nimoy saying "Parsnips." Just try it. Adorable, ain't it?

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New Spock is a bit... fresher, should I say? Plus I could not resist this utterly fantastic term: SPOCCKOLI.

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Old Bones is the definition of hard and crumbly and crunchy and craggy. Toast is the only thing acceptable.

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The New Bones is a bit softer and... sweeter, beneath it, if that is at all possible. So you get apple crisp. (New Bones seems surprised by this.)

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Old Uhura is all business all the time, so turnips are on the menu as her. Plus they match the background of the picture I found, hey hey.

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New Uhura is pretty no-nonsense and simple as well, but with more kissy action, so she's sweet potatoes. Plus the shape and color matches her earrings, amirite.

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Celebrating his Asian roots, Old Sulu is a delightful bowl of udon. Slurping is encouraged.

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New Sulu is a bit dryer and more juvenile, so instant ramen (uncooked, mind you) is what he's all about. You know what they say about pasta, anyways...

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Old Chekov is sweet and savory, serious and dreamy at the same time, so naturally a cookie is the right choice for him. What a serious little cookie face.

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New Chekov is younger and sweeter, so Lucky Charms are all his. Forget the Irish, the Russians can have leprechauns too. Everyone seems to be after Chekov's lucky charms, if you know what I mean.

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Old Scotty is a good old helping of jolly french toast. Confusing, at first, but a look at the background will reveal a neat little jug of scotch, and all will become clear.

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"Do they still have sandwiches?"
"Yes, Scotty. You are the sandwiches."
And then Scotty was in a tube of water.

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Pike is pike is pike.

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Nero is fruit roll ups, the kind with the little designs etched into them. Poor guy always gets stuck in unsavory situations.

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The resemblance is truly uncanny, isn't it.

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My friend always said Riley (the horny Irishman of The Naked Time) always looked like a stack of pancakes to her. I guess she's kinda right.

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I... really don't think I need to say anything about this one.

Now, the funnest part about food-things is the sheer brilliance of the pairing images. FOR EXAMPLE.

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Kirk + Spock = Cheese on Broccoli.
(Although this variety appears to be a time-warping sort... fascinating.)

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Kirk + Bones = Grilled Cheese

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Spock + Uhura = Broccoli with Sweet Potatoes

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Spock + Sulu = ...okay how did this get here.
(T-Takei and Quinto...?!)

BUT THE POINT IS!! There are some tasty combos out there!

So, what are we gonna do about it? Are we gonna cook our favorite pairings? Are we going to form delicious new ones out of sheer possibility of tastiness (Spinach and Artichoke Dip! It's fucking amazing!)? GQMF's, the possibilities are LIMITLESS.

POST THEM NOW.

(I know it's not Wednesday, but hey, food! It's tasty!)

Many apologies for the absolute shit quality of the images, by the way. I don't have anything better than MS Paint on my computer, and I didn't know where to find good screencaps the movie. But I tried my best!

PS
I really want to see a picture of
this face on this piece of cheese on that cat. For obvious reasons.

HOLY SHIT EDIT: Request fulfilled by the fabulous mullenkamp !!  Love you, bb!



Nothing says Fail more than an enraged Cheese Kirk on a Cat. Speaking of Khan...

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Because Khan would TOTALLY be a steak. He's so... meaty and.. Khan. Yes, I doodled some stuff in class today. You guys have made MY day, so I'm gonna make your day right back at you even MORE.

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That's right, Bones. You tell 'em.

lunchpunch thought I had no idea what they thought of when they read this. Oh yes I do.

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Fappable Apples. For hard cheeses of all sorts.

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KIRK YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. It is time for some Spock.

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Some standard Spocckoli.

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I love Leonard Nimoy's voice. It always sounds like he's eating, like, cinnamon candy or something.

SPEAKING OF THIS. I made an icon for anyone to use. Super low quality, so if anyone wants to make a better one, then be my guest.

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I am by no means done with these, I think. Somebody mentioned Trek LOLcats. We shall see.
Tags: best post ever
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