fuckpalface (whomever) wrote in ontd_startrek,
fuckpalface
whomever
ontd_startrek

suffer from sexlexia? the cure is here.

Dear men and women of the lesbian and bisexual persuasion, as well as any pansexual Cardassian tailors that may or may not be eavesdropping on this post, have you ever had trouble wooing the finer sex? Have you ever blamed your lack of success not on your very sexy learning disorder, but perhaps on your extreme deficiency of avocado wrap-arounds? Perhaps the problem lies in your inability to naturally insert dramatic pauses and... inflections into your everyday conversations. Or maybe, just maybe the reason you're not scoring enough hot alien make-outs is because you simply lack the charisma and daring that comes standard with three fabulous golden stripes on your sleeve.

Well, your lonely star days are over, my friends, because the answer to your troubles is finally here. Presenting, not highly recommended by six out of five doctors, bricklayers, magicians, and physicists, and not endorsed by the Vulcan Science Academy and its affiliates, including "their own" Ambassador Spock...



Casanova, Don Juan, James Bond -- these are men of legendary romance, but only one man can boast that his seductive powers take him boldly where no man has gone before: James T. Kirk.

Captain Kirk's status as an interstellar stud is proven by his ability to seduce any woman, in any situation, in any part of the galaxy. From high-society princesses to unbalanced Orion slave girls, from gender-switching shape-shifters to emotion-deprived androids -- they all swoon, acquiesce, and malfunction from just one kiss.

But a single question remains in the minds of millions: How does he do it?

Captain Kirk's Guide to Women is the first book to answer this question by probing deeply into Kirk's character, charisma, and seductive techniques, making it possible for any man to model himself after the Casanova of the Cosmos. It is also the only warp-powered romance manual written with enough wit, charm, and humor to help the female of the species make first contact.
Employing meticulous research, along with fanatic-level detail and the kind of pointy-eared logic even a Vulcan would find fascinating, Captain Kirk's Guide to Women shows you how to be as effective as Captain Kirk.


Now go on, you captains of love, you pioneers of romance! Woo the yeoman, sweep the genocidal incorporeal astral being off her figurative feet, instruct the homely tribal princess in the ways of human emotion, because now you too can court nineteen-year-olds as effectively as


Captain Kirk
his hair just dries like that
Tags: other misc old trekkie shit, tos, william shatner/jim kirk
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